03 September 2015
Addiction: When the Bottles are all Empty
I heard a bottle pop today, when you set it down, I sipped.....it wasn't very tasty.
Halloween night, both of us ready. No candy for us.....you couldn't walk steady.
I heard a bottle pop today, unfortunately for us, you were too sick to come out and play.
We giggled and laughed the evening away, but not you, the arguing lasted most the night and half of that day.
I saw the bottle pop today, I'm no longer four. It's weird how now I realize, you're actually passed out on the floor.
The years pass by and your method has been tried and tested, not much to show for how much you've invested. They hide in the cabinets, they hide behind the fridge, I guess this is proper behavior for one that may need a binge.
I found a bottle stash today. Cops bring me back, apparently it's me who's character lacks. When a teenager leaves home it doesn't matter how much you've poured.....how easily that enormous fact was ignored.
I take the blame and I feel the guilt, meanwhile your cries should be for your own help.
We struggle and battle. I can't keep up, with the amount of self pity, your hiding in that cup.
You popped too many bottles this day. The ambulance came and took you away. Off to the hospital to make you feel better, they couldn't figure out why you were so under the weather. In loyalty I shook my head and turned away. I said I had no idea what was causing your pain.
They let you come home, they said you were all better. To my relief I finally thought maybe we had it together. Two months in, I saw that damn bottle pop open again.
I no longer hear those bottles pop, instead I wait for the phone calls you don't remember you dropped. You've called all the family, you've called all the neighbors, awkward for me comes pretty standard. I've attempted before to bring drunk you back down, to realize that maybe it really is safer on sober ground. The help came and left when you declined their advances. They look at me crazy, like I'm the one doing drunk dances.
I've begged for your health, for sanity, for real laughter. So that maybe our relationship wouldn't be such a disaster. I'd do anything to make all your bad days feel better... but it's not me in control, by now you should know better.
I know the bottles will continue to pop, until you figure out it's time to stop. Let me tell you a secret. I'll sit and I'll wait while you continue to pour. Later these bottles will be empty but tomorrow you can buy more. I am only one person, I'm not sure what to expect, but each day it feels a little more like regret.
I'll give you what I've got, so please take my help while you still can. The bottles will be to full to fall over and I'll be to empty to stand. I'll be powerless while alcohol wins this battle over man.